Teenage Dating Situations
by SaidbhinLuch
Summary: And the reactions from both the teenager in question and the SG-1 men alike. Oh poor Sam having to deal with all the barminess, can't a girl get a break? Ammm no. Humour, fluff, friendship, mild squabbling and an irritated Sam Carter all in the mix here. Some Cassie/Sam bonding with just a dash of S/J... seriously you need a microscope to see it. ENJOY!


**I managed a week without updating... God my exams are going to be FUN! Well this is set after 'Rite of Passage' **

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Sam blindly groped around for her phone as she balanced a stack of notes that were veering off her coffee table.

'Carter.' She answered holding her phone to her ear with her shoulder as she arranged the notes in chronological order.

'Why do you guys answer the phone like that? Does 'hello' not suffice with the Air Force?' Sam rolled her eyes good naturedly as the dry voice of Cassie issued through the phone.

'Did you get that sarcasm from the Colonel or is that the 'teenage' thing rearing its ugly head again?' She countered picking the phone up and placing it on loud speaker and down next to her laptop and pulled the middle stack towards her and began to highlight sections for reference.

'Mom says it's a combination of both.' The teenager sighed dramatically and Sam smiled as she mentally saw the teenager roll her eyes and ruffle her hair.

'I dare say she's not wrong you know.'

'Aren't you supposed to defending me?' A plaintive moan that was eerily similar to a particular father figure to the young girl rang out and Sam laughed lightly.

'Not when the other party is your mother. It has been pointed out that I am no fool, young Cassandra Frasier. Now why are you calling today?'

'Ack!' She shook her head at the other reminiscent mannerism that was coming from the young girl and waited patiently for the explanation. She frowned down at the varying stacks of equations and nibbled on the end of a pen.

'Is there any way to stop Jack from being well... _Jack?'_

Sam blinked down at the phone for a moment.

'I think you've a better chance of getting gold from lead to be perfectly honest Cass. Now _what_ is going on?'

'He wants to meet Dominic.'

'Oh fireworks!'

'_Sa-am.'_

'Do you really blame me?'

'Yes. _You're_ supposed to be the cool one!'

'I thought that was Jack?'

'No he's the cool _Dad_. Not that cool! Also you said Jack?' Sam just rolled her eyes and huffed loudly, she could practically hear the young woman shake her head and roll her own eyes at Sam's behaviour.

She shook her head good-naturedly and sat back in the couch and switching the phone off speaker and held to her ear.

'Let me get this straight, _I'm _the cool one? Me? The one with the PhD in astrophysics?' Sam asked incrediously whilst grinning manically.

'You regularly ride motorbikes, are a female kick ass major in the Air Force and can pick locks at will. All in all, you're pretty kick ass.' Sam paused almost dropping the phone as a sneaking suspicion crawled up her spine. She smiled sarcastically lifted the phone up higher to her ear and straightened.

'I'm not helping you.'

'Oh come on! You're the only person who can sway Jack. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?' Cassie was pleading with all her heart and Sam was determined to not to be swayed.

'No.' She stated bluntly getting up and moving to her kitchen and starting to make coffee and pottering around her kitchen.

'Awww c'mon!'

'Your Jack O'Neill-isms are bleeding through, be careful.'

'Pleeeeeeeease! I'll bake you cookies! Peanut butter chocolate ones! Whenever you want.'

'I work with Daniel Jackson. Bribery won't work on me. You need to learn how to deal with father related insanity.'

'But-' Sam leaned forward frowning, as she took a sip of coffee, and she was convinced she had heard something.

'No Cass, this is a rite of passage for you. I had to handle my Dad with 'meeting the boyfriend' you have to as well. Besides you'll have something I didn't, Janet.'

'But-' Cassie was practically wailing on the other end of the phone and Sam just sighed in annoyance. Her head whipped up as she heard a knocking at the door and she said goodbye to Cass ignoring her protests.

Sam shoved her phone in her pocket and opened to the door and was surprised to see the Colonel standing on her porch fingers nervous tapping off his helmet.

'Hey Carter!'

'Hey... Sir?' She stepped aside and gestured for the man to enter, she sighed internally knowing what this was relating to.

Damn that Cassandra Frasier.

Wait a minute helmet? Sam blinked for a moment, before hazarding a quick glance outside and seeing a bike gleaming next to her car.

Oh.

She spun round as she heard a muffled curse from her living room and she cursed in the same manner. Sam walked in to find the Colonel scrambling on his knees, wincing every so often and rubbing his knee.

She stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips and an exasperated expression painted on her face. The man scuttling about on her floor just looked up and grinned at her apologetically.

Sam just dropped her head to the side and closed her eyes, before dropping down next to him and helping him clear up the mess.

* * *

'How exactly did I get myself into this mess?' Sam muttered to herself as she watched the extraordinarily awkward scene in front of her.

Cassie, Janet, Dominic... and the guys were sitting in the Frasier's sitting room. She found herself standing to one side, flashing back to her teens and shuddered slightly.

'So...' The Colonel started crossing his legs and staring at the terrified teenage boy levelly. Teal'c was also staring, not quite as passively at the boy, and Daniel was attempting to do the same, but failing miserably.

Janet glanced over at Sam and they share an exasperated look, before Sam turned round and headed into the kitchen.

'Is it too early for wine?' Sam asked looking around as Janet followed her in.

'I hope to god not, I did not realise that _this_ was in the contract.' Janet muttered reaching into the cupboard over her head and pulling out two large wine glasses. Sam dug out a particularly nice bottle and grinned at her friend, who smirked in response.

'What contract?'

'The one that involves having Jack O'Neill as a pseudo father and Teal'c and Daniel Jackson as additional guardians.'

'That's what happens when you're adopted into the SG-1 family.' Sam countered pouring out generous glasses before a decidedly ruffled and irate Cassie appeared in the door.

'What are you two thinking?' She hissed glaring at both women as they shifted guiltily each taking a sip of wine. She stomped out with the two doctors sheepishly following.

Cassie tossed both women another glare as they entered to see poor Dominic recoiling in horror. Sam put down the glass of wine and glared at the three men and indicated for them to follow her. As they sat staring at her innocently she tightened her mouth in irritation.

She tapped her foot and indicated for all of them to head into the kitchen, arching her eyebrow dangerously standing to one side of the doorway gesturing for them to go through it.

It was now the three men who were marching past her sheepishly. Sam turned to see both Cassie and Dominic smiling bashfully at one another and Janet looking at them in approval.

She found herself smiling for a moment before her face dropped as she followed the boys out.

'What the _hell_ do you three think you are doing?' Teal'c's face remained impassive, Daniel actually looked slightly guilty, but only slightly and the Colonel had the audacity to look insulted.

'We're-' Daniel started but he halted, clearly at a loss for words. The Colonel scoffed and looked completely nonplussed at Sam's withering stare.

'We're simply protecting Cassie.' At this much to the three men's surprised, Sam scoffed derisively in return.

'_Protecting_ Cassie? Really? _Reeeeeeeeeeeeally?'_

Sam looked from on to the other and rolled her eyes once again, shaking her head.

'Dominic is 15. What on earth do you think he's going to do?' Sam asked in complete bafflement, seriously wonder (not for the first time) if the Colonel hadn't totally lost his mind.

'Hey I was 15 once! I know how they think!' The Colonel gestured wildly and nudged Daniel as though looking for a similar sentiment. Daniel just looked at him eyebrows at his hairline, eyes wider then Sam had ever seen them.

She could also practically hear Daniel wondering how he managed not to strangle the man next to him already.

'You still think like that that.' He quipped lightly folding his arms and smirking in a very self assured sort of way. Both men engaged in a staring competition for a time and Sam felt the irritation sweep over in a near tidal wave sort of way.

'If you two are done, I'm expecting you _all_ to be polite to Dominic, he's a good kid. And don't think I won't resort to other measures to make sure you play nice.' Sam stared at each one in a very domineering manner.

Teal'c took in a deep, almost resigned breath before nodding at her. Daniel looked quite fearful as his brain supplied varying alternatives as to what 'measures' Sam might be inclined to take.

The Colonel was now glaring at her and remained standing in the kitchen as the other two left the room.

It was now Sam and the Colonel facing off in a staring contest.

This was a first.

After a while Sam just shook her head and glared at him one last time.

'You can stop the over protective Dad act. It won't end well, for either Cass or you. Also Janet will drag out the really big needles, she will tear you to pieces.' At this Sam turned precisely and marched out of the room, leaving a horrified Colonel behind her.

She paused for a moment in the hallway, smirking slightly before sticking her head back in.

'Also I'm pretty sure that the greatest weapon that Earth has is an incensed teenage girl. Trust me on that, I've been there and done that.' She smiled overly brightly at the man and delighting in watching the colour drain from his face.

Still, even if enjoyed toruring the man, those cookies had better be _damned_ good.

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**I know I said too weeks, but today when I sat down to study Quality Management Systems, THIS popped into my brain instead... This is insane. My brain is horrible and yet oh so kind to me. Such a back handed thing for it to do... Oh well I hope you enjoy this! It certainly was more entertaining then Maslow's theory of the hierarchy of needs... Or clinical biochemistry... **

**Also a BIG shout out to everyone who reviewed, favourited and followed 'The Follies of Genius'! Thank you! And there was a major first for me this week... 'Hypothetical Dating Situations' got 20 reviews! Oh you guys are too nice to me! I'm blushing over here!  
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**Thank you all so much and I hope you had a good giggle at this too!  
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**Please tip your friendly neighbourhood writer on your way out! Ta!  
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**Toodle pip!  
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